Often times when I find myself staring up at the night sky, I am reminded of something Nietzsche once said, "When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." But to me, the abyss, the endless stars and space stretching far into eternity, doesn't just gaze, it pierces deep into my soul and forces me to ask questions that often have no answer; questions beyond my limits, questions that push me far from what I once accepted as truth. One evening as I lost myself in the stars above, my friend lying next to me, equally as lost in the vastness of our universe, uttered the question, How far away? For me, this question gave rise to hundreds of other questions, to thoughts, to ideas, to emotions and to fears. For him, I do not know what exactly this question means, (though this is not to say that I don't long to find out), and while what I am writing is directly related to how his very words effected and continue to effect me, there is no way for me to know if I am doing his thought, his mind, even remote justice. How far away, he asked. My answer to him was only a sigh, a sigh loaded with heaviness, for I didn't even know how to begin. I was instantly consumed by my thoughts, both obvious and obscure; blatant and bizarre. How far away are the stars? How far away are you and I? And what is in this distance, what fills that void? What is between me and that burning, destructive, unstable mass of gas suspended in space? What lies between my soul and yours? The stars, at first, seem so tangible. So close. So familiar. But as you gaze deep into the space in which they call home, you can only just begin to grasp the distance. You can only begin to understand that these aren't just specks in the sky. How far away? A question so impossible to answer, yet so necessary to ask. How far am I, from everything? How disconnected am I? How far am I from you, other human beings, and from the earth? How far am I from beauty, pain, joy, and understanding? How can I fill in this void, how can I close the distance? How can you and I become one? How can I begin to connect myself, truly, to humanity? How can I join my soul with that of the earth? How can I fully give myself to my emotions; how can I completely experience pain and ecstasy? How can I understand anything at all? The more I began to ask questions, the father away I began to feel. The farther I fell into a well of thought. And I continue to fall, but I cannot tell if the direction in which I am falling is down or up. How far away am I? I do not know, and I will not know. And perhaps life is just a chapter in my quest to find out the answer; how far away? Or perhaps the answer is right here, in front of my eyes.
Is there even an answer at all?
Let us be realistic: Life, Existence, and all this Universe is a cruel and evil thing. I do not know if there exists some type of Meta Consciousness that Controls the universe but, if it does it is quite sure a very evil thing. God, Devil, Gods, Cosmic Consciousness or everything we suppose that is higher and manipulate us is, for sure, an evil thing and its reflection is entropy, is this cruel physics laws, and all the cruelty of life and existence.
ReplyDeleteIn fact what is upon is equal of what is below!
We should focus on how to destroy the entire universe.
This universe Physic Laws are to much entropic. That's why this is an evil and cruel existence where everything gets old and dies. Where everything fights to survive, where everything eats the less powerful.
I believe that Transmutalism is not possible in this kind of universe so, the “nihil”, the nothing is preferable unless we could create another universe with more life oriented physic laws.
Maybe the antimatter bomb could be the solution to annihilate this universe but HOW to make it?? It should have the enough critical mass to destroy the whole universe or it will be a failure.
In this "Theater" of existence, we are JUST SLAVES oppressed by the physics laws, by god, by devil, by gods, by the cosmic consciousness... or whatever! The only Revolutionary thing we should do it is not to collaborate with this anymore: is to blow up the "theater" and tell to gods to go playing with somebody else.